The Big Chill
by Raven12
Summary: The Voyager crew on a camping trip where memories of the past collide with new discoveries. Told from Janeway's POV.


TITLE: The Big Chill  
  
AUTHOR: Raven  
  
RATING: R  
  
DISCLAIMER: Star Trek: Voyager and all things contained therein are the property of Paramount and Viacom. I will receive no profit from this story.  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Contains spoilers from: Threshold, Resolutions, Basics, Unity, Scorpion, Unforgettable, In The Flesh, Counterpoint, Fair Haven, One Small Step, Workforce and Endgame. (okay...fine...the whole series)  
  
BACKGROUND: Told from Janeway's point of view, it's Voyager's one-year anniversary returning to Earth. To commemorate the occasion, most of the senior staff has planned to spend the weekend together on a camping trip where memories of the past collide with new discoveries of the future.  
  
Title: The Big Chill : Voyager Style  
  
Personal log stardate... A lot has happened since returning home. At first there was the hoopla and then the interrogation. By the time Starfleet was done with us, Seven and Icheb had undergone extensive debriefing and evasive tests for their Borg assimilation, Harry was finally promoted, Tom, B'Elanna and their newest addition, Miral were welcomed home with open arms by Admiral Paris. The last I heard, Chakotay had accepted a teaching position at Starfleet Academy and was seeing someone. I know he and Seven started to date while still in the Delta Quadrant, but I seriously doubt that went anywhere. As for myself, I've been promoted to Admiral, probably to keep my feet on the ground instead of gallivanting around the cosmos. This is good time for the Voyager crew, for it's been a year since our return. In those seven years we spent together, we became a family and vowed when we finally made it home, we would always get together at least once a year to recall the time we spent together. With that...this weekend marks our one-year anniversary of our return. We've decided to do without technology and "rough it" by planning a camping trip in the mountains of Montana. Computer...end personal log.  
  
The Arrival:  
  
I'm the first to arrive with Molly, my Irish Setter and dearest friend. It was difficult all those years being away from her, but knowing she was well cared for by Mark, my former fiancée, it made things easier. She's elderly now and doesn't have many years left on her. For this reason I've opted to bring her along. Our surroundings are breathtaking. Our camping site is along the river surrounded by magnificent redwoods and lush greenery with a gorgeous mountain range in the background. An absolute perfect location far, far away from the everyday reminders of civilization and technology.  
  
The next to arrive are Tom and B'Elanna. From what Tom says, it was very difficult convincing B'Elanna to come along since this will be the first time Miral has been left with Grandma and Grandpa Paris. Just thinking about this gives me the chuckles since I know how difficult Miral can be. If anything, I would pay 500 bars of latinum to see Grandpa Owen try to calm his feisty quarter-part Klingon Granddaughter. Considering the stressors of raising a one-year-old, both Tom and B'Elanna look relaxed in their civilian attire. It should prove to be amusing hearing about their trials and tribulations of parenthood.  
  
On a sad note, Tom informs me that Harry will not be able to attend this weekend. It seems with his new commission, he's been assigned to another starship, which will be on patrol in the Beta Quadrant for the next few years. Rumor has it he was amongst the first to volunteer for this post once finding out about the engagement of his ex-girlfriend, Libby to one of his closest Academy friends.  
  
Another no-show isn't much of a surprise. Since returning to Vulcan, Tuvok has decided to take a break from Starfleet and spend more time with his family. Besides, when I told him about this little trip, his only response was, "it is illogical to abandon technology for the mere purpose of recalling past events". Without going any further, I took his response as an indication that he will not be joining us.  
  
The Doctor, on the other hand wanted to attend, but had a prior engagement with Starfleet. It seems with his expanded knowledge of Borg mechanics, the Doctor along with Reginald Barkley has been instrumental in developing a curriculum at the Academy. This weekend, the Doctor is giving a lecture on the benefits of nano-technology. With all of his research on Borg-o-logy, he is by no doubt perfect for this project.  
  
Speaking of the Borg, it looks like I was right all along, for Seven has made enormous strides into reclaiming her humanity. She may have shined on Voyager, but she's taking Earth by storm. Since arriving home, Seven has made a complete turn-a-round in regards to her identity. In fact, if it weren't for a few metallic implants, one would not know she was ever assimilated. From what Chakotay tells me, she's accepted a commission at Starfleet and is teaching at the Academy as well. Who would have thought it possible? Fearing she may consider recalling past events irrelevant, I'm pleased to hear that Seven will be attending this weekend once she completes an extended regeneration cycle. The Doctor has continued to treat Seven and resume her social lessons and even informed me that our former drone has expressed interest in intimacy and may be seeing someone. By his solemn tone, that someone does not include himself. This is definitely an issue that will need to be addressed this weekend.  
  
...And finally, there is my dearest friend, Chakotay, which I'm pleased to hear will be attending our little reunion. It wasn't difficult to convince my former Commander since I told him if he didn't attend, then we wouldn't have a flame for roasting marshmallows. After all, he is Native American. I'm not going to fool myself, for Chakotay and I go back a long time. All those years in the Delta Quadrant having him by my side was one of the best, but most difficult times for me. After being taken away from my fiancée, I thought there would never be another man I would want to share my life with until Chakotay came along. If it weren't for Starfleet's rules regarding fraternizing with the crew, I'm confident that we would have been romantically involved. Well, who knows what life will bring us this weekend. Now that I'm not longer his commanding officer, maybe things will be different between us.  
  
Girl Talk:  
  
Well, here we are, the happy campers.  
  
Now that all the tents are up, the men have decided to go off into the forest and gather some wood for the campfire while the women stay behind and set up the make shift kitchen. Still no sign of Seven, we've decided to take a break until the sound of a vehicle approaches. To our surprise, an approaching red convertible is being driven by our former drone. B'Elanna and I are both dumbstruck by the spectacle and wonder what else has changed with our Seven.  
  
The two of us stop what we're doing and approach the hot rod. Seven exits the automobile, grabs her duffle bag and approaches us.  
  
"Do my eyes deceive me? Is that you Seven?" Asks B'Elanna.  
  
"I realize this method of traveling is not as efficient as transporting, but I prefer to control my own destiny in this matter." Explains Seven.  
  
"Of course you would." Answers the half Klingon.  
  
The rumors are all correct. She acts and looks entirely different. No longer dressed in a form fitting bio-suit, Seven is wearing a sundress and sandals. Her hair is free flowing and she's even wearing make-up and sunglasses.  
  
"Well, I can't believe it. You look absolutely amazing. It's so good to see you Seven."  
  
"Thank you Admiral. It's a pleasure to get away from my responsibilities for a while."  
  
"Did you just say, it's a pleasure to be here?"  
  
"Yes Lieutenant...I find a brief distraction helps my efficiency?"  
  
B'Elanna and I crack up at Seven's response. What surprises us even more is that Seven is laughing along with us.  
  
"Yes, Seven, it is a pleasure to be together again. But we all need to follow one rule...no formalities and no ranks. When we're out here in the wilderness, we're all civilians."  
  
"Yes Kathryn, I will comply...and while we're on the topic, please address me as Annika if you wish."  
  
"I've got the feeling this is going to be a weekend to remember." Adds B'Elanna.  
  
Male Bonding:  
  
Meanwhile in the woods...  
  
Chakotay and Tom hunt for wood.  
  
"Wouldn't it be easier if we used our tri-corders?"  
  
"Don't tell me you brought that thing along."  
  
"Well...I did. I thought it might come in handy."  
  
What's wrong Tom, I thought "roughing it" was your sort of thing. Besides it's more of a challenge to rely on our innate senses."  
  
"Whatever you say Chief. What are you doing anyway?"  
  
"Haven't you heard of bread crumbs? I'm leaving a trail so we don't get lost. We wouldn't want to lose our way now, would we?"  
  
"Whatever happened to using innate senses? I thought you were some kind of Indian, isn't it in your blood to just know these things?"  
  
"Yes Tom, but I'm not Tarzan."  
  
"Just tell me you can at least build a fire."  
  
"I've got a secret for you. I brought a lighter just in case. The last time I built a fire from scratch, I needed several locks of hair. Something tells me the women wouldn't appreciate that."  
  
"Good thinking."  
  
"Just don't let Kathryn know."  
  
"Don't worry...your secret safe with me. Speaking of secrets, rumor has it you've been seeing someone. Anyone we know?"  
  
"I think you know me well enough to never kiss and tell."  
  
"Come on big guy...just give me one hint."  
  
"Let's just say we've known each other for a very long time."  
  
Tom contemplates the possibilities, and then finally gives up.  
  
After another hour of gathering wood, the men return to the campsite.  
  
The Dinner:  
  
Several hours later, the sun, sets and a radiant campfire is burning. While Chakotay adds wood to the flame, the rest of us prepare our evening's feast. I take this opportunity to compliment Chakotay's efforts.  
  
"Nice fire. You're ancestors would be proud."  
  
I'm not sure why, but Tom and B'Elanna give Chakotay a smirk.  
  
"Thank you, it was nothing." Explains Chakotay.  
  
Another smirk between those three...and now a chuckle. Why do I have the impression, I've been had?  
  
"After all this fire-building, I'm starved. So, what's for dinner?"  
  
"Sev...I mean Annika wanted to prepare dinner, she says it's a surprise." I add.  
  
"Then it should prove to be delicious." Responds Chakotay.  
  
"I'm so hungry I could eat a shuttle." Declares the former Engineer.  
  
"For food or for something else?"  
  
"You flyboys are all alike. All you ever think about is either sex or flying and not necessarily in that order."  
  
I laugh at their remarks and then excuse myself to join Seven.  
  
"That smells wonderful. What is it?"  
  
"I've made two main courses, a meat based course for you, Tom and B'Elanna, and a vegetarian course for Chakotay and myself."  
  
"You're a vegetarian? Since when?"  
  
"Since determining an association of consuming animal flesh to the assimilation of a species."  
  
"I see. Well, that'll never stop me. In my opinion, there's nothing better than a big juicy steak."  
  
"Then, you're in luck, because the skewers contain steak."  
  
"Sounds superb..."  
  
Just as I'm about continue on, Chakotay comes up from behind and embraces us both by extending his arms around our shoulders.  
  
"So, how are my two favorite women doing?"  
  
"Terrific. It's so good to be together again."  
  
"I concur." Adds Seven.  
  
An awkward silence...why do I all of a sudden feel like a fifth wheel?  
  
"Well, it looks like dinner's almost ready, I'll start setting the table."  
  
"Sounds like a plan. I'll see if I can assist Seven."  
  
I leave them alone. Funny how they don't seem to mind my sudden absence.  
  
Chakotay and Seven share a moment...  
  
"I thought she'd never leave. I can't tell you how much I've missed you." Admits Chakotay.  
  
Seven smiles while she continues to prepare their meal.  
  
"It hasn't been that long."  
  
"That's easy for you to say, you've been regenerating for the past 48 hours. I've been laying awake at night with nothing to hold on to."  
  
"Perhaps we should replicate you a teddy bear when we return home so you won't be so lonely next time."  
  
Chakotay laughs at the ex-drone's remark.  
  
"I have a better idea. How about you making it up to me later, in my tent?"  
  
"Unfortunately our tents are too close in proximity to the others. Our lovemaking will be heard and our secret will be out in the open."  
  
(exhales deeply) "You're right, however, I have another idea. Earlier today while Tom and I were gathering wood, I came across a secluded site by the stream. Its about 20 minutes on foot and I've marked the trail with acorns. Tonight we could sneak away. What do you say?"  
  
"It is an acceptable arrangement."  
  
"I'll take that as a yes."  
  
"I will comply. But for now, please assist me in serving our friends."  
  
"I am completely at your service."  
  
"Really?" Seven flirtatiously responds.  
  
Both Seven and Chakotay exchange suggestive smirks then resume their meal preparation.  
  
Is it me or do they seem overly friendly with each other? Automatically, he seats himself next to her and she seems responsive to his actions. If you ask me, she's too responsive. The rumors about Sev...I mean Annika are true. She's made progress by leaps and bounds and has softened like I've never expected. I can see why men would be attracted to her, but Chakotay? No, I'm seeing too much into this. If there was something going on between them, I'm sure he would tell me. Anyway, I'm still hoping for a spark between Chakotay and myself.  
  
An hour later...  
  
Dinner was delicious. Even Molly would agree, since a stew was especially prepared for her. With all of this rich, delicious food, I've promised to take her for a walk. But for now, we take this opportunity to enjoy each other's company by surrounding Chakotay's campfire.  
  
The Campfire:  
  
"I thought you were kidding about roasting marshmallows."  
  
"As you can see Chakotay, I'm a woman of my word."  
  
As the rest of us continue to roast our treats, Seven approaches with a birthday cake with a single lit candle.  
  
"What's all this?" Asks Chakotay.  
  
"This evening not only marks our one year anniversary of returning home, but it's also Miral's first birthday. I thought we could celebrate her birth as well."  
  
We're all in shock at Seven's thoughtfulness. B'Elanna is speechless.  
  
"You know Seven...Annika, whatever your name is...when you first came on board Voyager, I hated your guts. You represented everything I was against. But now, I can't believe this. Thank you...thank you very much."  
  
"You're welcome B'Elanna...and no apologies are needed. I believe it is customary to sing...shall we?"  
  
As our former drone starts the birthday melody, we all join in then watch the proud parents blow out the candle. The cake is cut up and consumed by us all. White cake with whip crème and strawberries...absolutely delicious. It's at this moment I decide to make some of my special blend of coffee, and then join everyone around the fire.  
  
"So, how's parenthood treating you?" I ask.  
  
"Lets just say, this weekend will be the most sleep we've gotten in almost a year. She's definitely Klingon."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?! Are you saying if she was all human she wouldn't cry so much?"  
  
"No B'Elanna! Not at all, I'm just saying she's definitely got her mother's temper."  
  
"...and her father's stubbornness." Adds B'Elanna.  
  
"Uh Oh...looks like we've opened up a can of worms." I add.  
  
"You see what I have to put up with?"  
  
"Tom, it was your free choice to marry B'Elanna, was it not?"  
  
"I'm just kidding Seven. B'Elanna and Miral mean everything to me. I wouldn't trade my life for anything."  
  
On that note, Tom reaches over and plants a kiss on his wife.  
  
All is forgiven...  
  
I take this opportunity to find out more about my former 1st Officer's personal life.  
  
"So Chakotay, tell us about your significant other?"  
  
"It's really nothing, it's just someone I've known for a long time."  
  
"Longer than seven years?"  
  
"You're prying Tom, it's none of your business."  
  
"You're right, but inquiring minds still want to know. Right B'Elanna?"  
  
"He's right. I'll bet you it's that Maquis girl, you know, the blonde? I hear she's back with Starfleet."  
  
"Are you talking about Marissa?"  
  
"Yah...that's her name. Am I right?"  
  
"Nice try B'Elanna. I have seen her, but no, she and I are not seeing each other. Isn't there something else we can talk about?"  
  
Since I'm not about to let him off the hook, I decide to pry more.  
  
"Weren't you and Seven seeing each other for a while?"  
  
I thought for sure Chakotay was going to need the Heimlich maneuver after that question.  
  
"Seven...care to respond? You're part of this inquiry as well." Adds the former Maquis in between coughs.  
  
"I prefer not to discuss my personal life. However, I would like to comment that Chakotay is an honorable gentleman that any woman would be lucky to be with."  
  
At this moment, Chakotay gives Seven a smile that could melt a glazier. Maybe they're not seeing each other after all. Perhaps there's hope for us yet.  
  
"I've always been curious about the time when you and Chakotay contracted that disease and were sent to that planet for a month before we found a cure. You guys never did tell us what really went on."  
  
"Good one Tom." Comments B'Elanna.  
  
"This is about a year before you joined us Seven. It really wasn't that exciting."  
  
"Please continue." Responds Seven.  
  
"This is your party Kathryn, go ahead." Adds Chakotay.  
  
I continued to reminisce about the time of our brief exile when Chakotay and I were infected by an insect bite and how the doctor after a month wasn't able to find a cure. Our choices were to either live our lives on an inhabited planet deep in the Delta Quadrant or exist in stasis tubes onboard Voyager. We both agreed to leave the ship in hopes of finding a cure and meeting up with Voyager someday. When we first arrived on the planet, Chakotay immediately went to work on our residence with pre-fabricated material from Voyager. My responsibility was to set up a science lab and find the specimen in question. Each day of our exile we became closer and more comfortable with our situation. In fact, Chakotay surprised me one day with a bathtub deep inside the forest, since it's known throughout the galaxy about my infatuation for long, hot bathes. It was a pleasure seeing him so content without the daily burden of running a starship and also seeing him as a companion instead of a fellow shipmate. One night I was full of tension, Chakotay approached me from behind and gave me the most amazing neck rub. It was the most wonderful feeling, for my body tingled in such a way, I never thought it possible to feel like a woman again. I knew at that moment that this would be the man I spend the rest of my life with. What I regret to this day is that I didn't act upon my feelings, instead the duties of being the ship's Captain came into play and I turned down his advances. What I didn't admit to Chakotay later on was the dreams and fantasies I had of the lovemaking that could have been between us. After a horrific plasma storm, all of my research and equipment was destroyed. I was devastated and finally began to accept our roles as Adam and Eve. With our new primate friend, whom I can only describe as a monkey, the three of us were going to live the rest of our lives together. The next few days, I started to plant a garden while Chakotay continued to build onto our residence. Just as we were about to consummate our relationship, Voyager had returned with a cure. It was a happy, but bittersweet time for both of us. To this day, I have always wondered what would have happened if Voyager had not returned for us.  
  
"So, you two never...?" Asks Tom.  
  
"Nope...not once." I respond.  
  
"I can't believe it. It's not like you didn't have the chance."  
  
"Well B'Elanna, you see Kathryn and I have a mutual respect for one another. The time we spent together was because of the situation. We didn't have a choice. Besides, there are regulations that forbid Senior Officers from fraternizing with their crewmen."  
  
"But you two were no longer on Voyager. You mean to tell us there was no hanky panky between you two? Ever?"  
  
"Sorry Tom, it wasn't like that. Kathryn wasn't only my commanding officer, but she's was also one of my best friends. Besides, she made it clear I wasn't her type."  
  
I'm surprised at his comment.  
  
"What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Well, lets see...first there was Kashyk, the defecting double agent, then there was Michael, the hologram and finally there was Jaffen from the Workforce planet. But before any of them, there was Tom, whom she had offspring with."  
  
"What the...?" Barks B'Elanna.  
  
Tom pipes up.  
  
"It wasn't like that! After crossing the warp ten threshold, I evolved into this giant salamander."  
  
"Yes, and then you abducted Kathryn and forced her to cross the threshold and the two of you ended up on some planet where you had little tadpoles. You should have seen them Seven, they were just adorable. They had Tom's eyes and Kathryn's smile."  
  
All of us crack up at Chakotay's remarks.  
  
"Boy, you really have gotten around flyboy." Comments B'Elanna.  
  
"That was the old me...the new me only has eyes for you."  
  
"All right, now that I sound like the friendliest Captain in the Delta Quadrant, what about you Chakotay? I'm sure you've had your share of flings. Care to help me out B'Elanna?"  
  
"Not a problem. Let's see, does the name Seska mean anything to you?"  
  
"That was a long time ago. Besides, I'm sure Seven doesn't want to hear about this."  
  
"No...please continue B'Elanna. I find this line of inquiry...amusing."  
  
"My pleasure. All righty...where was I? Oh yah, after Seska, there was Kellin, who made everyone forget about everything, then there was Valerie Archer who was actually species 8472 in disguise. Then of course there was playing house with Janeway, which you both deny anything happened and finally there was Seven, which we still know nothing about. Care to comment?"  
  
"You almost had it all covered, but you forgot one."  
  
"I did? Care to enlighten me?"  
  
"Nope, sorry B'Elanna." Teases Chakotay.  
  
I'm not about to let him off the hook.  
  
"Oh...I know...Weren't you involved with, what was her name? Riley Frazier. Yes, that's it. Isn't that the time you were connected to their Cooperative with a neural transceiver?"  
  
Not quite the reaction I expected, Chakotay's demeanor changes at my latest comment.  
  
"Yes, unfortunately that's a memory I don't cherish."  
  
To my surprise, Seven becomes overly concerned for Chakotay's well being.  
  
"You were assimilated? Why haven't you mentioned this before?"  
  
"It's not something I'm comfortable talking about Seven. I allowed myself to be fit with a transceiver to cure my injuries or else I would have died. Once linked, I was a subject of mind control. When you first arrived on Voyager, I still hadn't healed from those memories. In fact, the transceiver is permanently embedded in the base of my brain."  
  
"Seven, what you don't know is that it was Chakotay's neural link to you that severed your connection to the Hive mind. In a sense, it was Chakotay who liberated you, not me."  
  
"I...I didn't know. I don't know how to respond, but thank you."  
  
"You're welcome. Someday, I might even tell you what I remember while being connected to you. For a brief moment our thoughts were one."  
  
"Why wait?"  
  
A warm smile forms on Chakotay's face.  
  
"Flashbacks...I remember seeing a young child. She was happy...playing on a field with two human adults I can only assume were her parents. They called the child...they called you Annika. I felt their love for you and yours to them."  
  
His _expression changes to sorrow.  
  
"...and then there was pain...unbearable pain...and then darkness."  
  
"Seven, are those your memories?"  
  
"Yes Kathryn. It was the last time we were a family on the Tendara Colony before we left for the Omega Sector."  
  
"Those are pretty vivid flashbacks. Seven, is there anything you remember of that link?"  
  
"Yes Tom. I remember feeling the Commander's consciousness imposed upon my own. It was an intrusion I couldn't resist. But at the same time as the memories of my childhood escaped to the surface, I began to welcome his presence into my consciousness. I briefly felt love...(pause) ...then there was great pain and I woke up in my alcove...alone...and without the voices."  
  
"...and the rest is history..." Adds B'Elanna.  
  
There's a silent moment, until Tom speaks up.  
  
"That's quite a story. Well, will you look at the time, it's after midnight. I don't know about you guys, but we're gonna get some sleep. It's not every night that B'Elanna and I have a chance to be alone. I think it's time we took advantage of it."  
  
"I couldn't agree more. Lead the way flyboy. Goodnight everyone, we'll see you in the morning."  
  
"Well, I think Molly and I are going to stay up for a while. I promised her a long walk."  
  
"Then I'm off to bed as well. Seven, can I escort you to your tent?" Asks Chakotay.  
  
"That will not be necessary. Goodnight."  
  
Seven smiles and winks as she walks away.  
  
Finally alone with him, I take this opportunity to test the waters.  
  
"You and Seven seem to be getting along."  
  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Nothing, it was just an observation."  
  
"Well, you were right about her all along. She's very special."  
  
"Yes she is...(pause)...I'm curious, after talking about that time on that planet, did you ever consider what it would have been like to cross that barrier?"  
  
He's surprised at my sudden inquiry.  
  
"To be honest with you Kathryn, I was very interested in pursing a relationship with you for years, but you made it very clear on several occasions that, that would never happen. It got to a point, where I had to abandon all attempts and move on."  
  
"Do you still feel that way?"  
  
"I can't answer that. You're one of my best friends, and at this point, I would never do anything to jeopardize that."  
  
"You have feelings for Seven, don't you?"  
  
"Is it that obvious?"  
  
"To me it is. How long have you been seeing her?"  
  
"For a little over a year."  
  
"Admiral Janeway was right about you two."  
  
"So, you knew all along. Why didn't you say anything?"  
  
"I guess I was hoping it wouldn't last and there might still be a chance for us."  
  
"I'm sorry Kathryn, I never meant to hurt you."  
  
"Is that why you didn't tell me?"  
  
"It's not just you, we didn't tell anyone. We felt if more people found out, there would be those who would try to sabotage our relationship."  
  
"Like me?"  
  
"That's not what I meant."  
  
"I'm a big girl Chakotay...I'll get over it. In fact, I'm already over it. I'm happy for you. I'm happy for you both."  
  
"Thank you Kathryn, you don't know what it means to me to know you're all right with this. I can't wait to tell Seven."  
  
"Well, goodnight. I'm glad we had this talk. I'll see you in the morning."  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
As he walks away, the thoughts of what life could have been slowly slip away.  
  
The Walk:  
  
As promised, Molly and I are taking a long walk until she hears something and runs off. She stops just before a clearing as I catch up to her. The sound of rushing water and owls in the distant, accompany the image of two people engaged in an intimate act. Unable to see whom it is, I move in closer to get a better look.  
  
Under the glow of the moonlight, a blanket is spread out supporting two kneeled beings embracing one another. To my surprise the figures are Chakotay and Seven who appear to be unaware of my presence. He strokes her golden locks and kisses her tenderly on the lips. She responds by stroking his strong arms while returning his kisses with more conviction. Slowly they undress, as he lowers her to the blanket and continues his tactile exploration of her body.  
  
I feel like a peeping tom, and realize I shouldn't be watching, but their affection toward each other captivates my attention.  
  
Their bodies align perfectly as his exploration turns oral, and tastes every inch of her soft, ivory skin. Slowly he lowers his head and places kisses along her jaw and neckline. She responds by arching her back to allow him complete access to her soul. He accelerates his decent and gives attention to her ample bosom. Slowly he re-positions himself and prepares to enter her. Their movement is perfection as they reach their nirvana. After a while of exchanging passionate kisses, they fall back together into a peaceful slumber.  
  
Feeling guilty, but slightly aroused by the spectacle before me, I'm neither jealous nor angry at their union. The only feeling I can make sense of is my regret for not pursuing Chakotay when I had the chance. Instead of Seven, that could have been me making love. Tears arrive and flood my eyes as sadness and loneliness overwhelm me while a former drone is reborn into the human female I once promised her to be. The daughter I never had and the lover that never was have found happiness with each other at my sacrifice.  
  
After two long hours, I take this opportunity to make my escape. I gather my canine companion, who has been asleep all this time and quietly as possible head back to the campsite, leaving the lovers alone.  
  
The Morning After:  
  
Tom's the first to rise. To nobody's surprise he's preparing a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for himself.  
  
"Good morning ...can I interest you in a my specialty?"  
  
"No thank you Tom, I'm doing just fine with my coffee. Have you seen Chakotay?"  
  
"Umm...yah...I saw him walking...with...Seven."  
  
"It's all right Tom, I already know."  
  
"Believe me...B'Elanna and I didn't know until today. We heard them return to their tents early this morning. Lets just say, we were a bit surprised to see them together."  
  
"I know what you mean. Well, I think it's time to start packing things up. Care to give me a hand?"  
  
"Of course, but first let me get B'Elanna up. Can't let her get too used to sleeping in, she's got our daughter to raise."  
  
I chuckle at Tom's comment and begin to pack up our makeshift kitchen only to be joined by Seven.  
  
"Good morning Seven."  
  
"Kathryn."  
  
"Did you sleep well?"  
  
Yes, very well. But you already knew that."  
  
"What are you getting at Seven?"  
  
"The next time you decide to spy on us, remember that my borg implants provide me with enhanced senses."  
  
Oh my God! She knows I was there last night.  
  
"Does Chakotay know?"  
  
"He does not. I didn't feel it was necessary to inform him."  
  
"I'm sorry Seven, I didn't mean to invade your privacy. You must be embarrassed."  
  
"The Borg do not get embarrassed and neither do I. However, I would like to make it clear that Chakotay and I love each other and not you nor anybody else will come in between us. The only reason I didn't tell him about last night is because your friendship brings him pleasure and I do not wish to upset him."  
  
"Well, I appreciate that and like I told Chakotay last night is that I'm happy for you both. So you see Seven, I once had feelings for Chakotay, but couldn't act upon them because of Starfleet regulations. But now that I've seen you two together, my feelings for him have changed. You and Chakotay belong together."  
  
"I'm pleased you accept our union for he is my collective."  
  
"Yes, and you are his family."  
  
"We are all family Kathryn."  
  
Seven's words linger. I feel like such a fool.  
  
Separate Ways:  
  
Personal log stardate... I suppose I deserve what happened. What was I thinking? After all those years on a starship with a community of 140 crewmen, relationships were destined to happen, couples were bound to form. For instance, look what happened to Tom. A former penal colony resident, turned into one of the finest helm officers in Starfleet. He falls in love with an ex-Maquis half Klingon, marries her and becomes a devoted husband and father. Who would of thought it possible? But Chakotay and Seven? I never saw it coming. When my future self informed me that Seven would die in the arms of her husband a few years from now, I was in complete denial to hear it would be Chakotay. Then, looking back I realize they've always shared more similarities than differences. For, it was Chakotay who was there during Seven's liberation from the Borg and who helped her understand spirituality, the need for companionship and develop an appreciation for Earth's history. Realizing this makes it seem appropriate that Seven's choice to experience intimacy would be with Chakotay. In a sense, it's been there all along, I just didn't want to admit it. For myself, I've had the privilege of having Chakotay as my best friend and Seven as the daughter I never had. One thing this weekend has granted me...is closure. Now, I can finally close this chapter in my life and move on. Perhaps, I'll contact an old friend and take him up on his offer of Earl Grey and Crumpets. Like I've always said, You never know. Computer...end personal log.  
  
The End? 


End file.
